Day 1

A tour through the vineyards. This meant following a map. Already I’m lost! You know me and my spatial issues. Along with that, Gilles (pronounced Jeel) my boss and winemaker is really tough to follow, thickest French accent I’ve ever heard. He’s actually subtitled on the winery website! www.coopermountainwine.com. He’s one of the most interesting people I’ve met in a long time. He’s served time in the French Army, training missions in the Pyrenees Mountains, had polio as a kid, is borderline deaf, flies planes, is geekily intelligent, weaves philosophy into discussions about engineering, politics or life in America, has AUTHENTIC passion for winemaking complete with total irreverence for the snob factor, which he thinks is absurd (“wtf is a tasting note, blueberry/blackberry etc”), is a self-proclaimed asshole and is happy if someone doesn’t like his wine for a “reason”, it means he’s making something interesting rather than trying to follow a trend. What I really like is his multifaceted intelligence, it’s not compartmentalized or specialized, is adaptable, thinks through something with authenticity and agility. He’s completely blunt and down-to-earth, but doesn’t lack empathy. I’m driving through the vineyards with the winemaker on a little 4 wheeler toy thingy! I want to clap my hands, squeal, jump up and down, kiss the grapes – anything other than sit here like an adult as he shows me which plot is growing pinot gris, pinot noir, chardonnay etc. I’m here! I did it!

Later I’m given the responsibility of filling up barrels with water. This “seasons” the wood allowing it to expand and checks for leaks before they get filled up with rotting grape juice. The barrels sit for 3 days. This nail-biting job meant I was in charge of overseeing TWO hoses at a time. Phew! It takes forever to fill all the barrels, but I have this incredible view of wine country and Chehalem Hill. Well actually it’s Chehalem Mountain but I have hard time calling it that after hanging out in the Rockies. My first glimpse of what Gilles was talking about when he said I may be bored at times.

I’ve got nothing material to say about my first day. Other than it feels good to be going to work in old jeans, hiking boots, no makeup and no small talk. I have a strange sensation that I finally found my calling and my dirt. The Pacific NW is where I’m meant to be and wine is what I’m meant to be doing (I think). I have nothing external or concrete to base this on, it’s all gut, a subtle sense and hard to trust. I’m definitely a little freaked out, but it feels more secure than anything else I’ve done so far. And the strangest most surprising thing I’ve been feeling is guilt, like I don’t deserve to follow this dream. Get down to business, get a real job and suffer through, this is frivolous and irresponsible… It goes deeper than money. Somehow I think it’s about not feeling like I have a right to live into my purpose and my joy. The ingrained message of not being worthy, the belief of which, I think hinders all women to some degree.